Level 1: Not Listening
“You feel like you’re betraying yourself.”* This doesn’t feel right and you know it. Not following guidance, both inner and outer. Not pausing for stillness or reflection. Refusing to hear the truth.
Level 2: On Standby
This doesn’t feel right, but it doesn’t feel wrong either. State of confusion. Constantly asking yourself, “Am I missing something?” Honest reflection and prayer yield no guidance for change. Feeling stuck, yet knowing you’re doing your best. Waiting.
Level 3: Flow
In flow. “Yes!” In contact with soul. Joy. Sense of purpose and fulfillment. Certainty. Labors of love. Synchronicity. Truth that has followed you your whole life long.
*quote credit to Carolyn Myss
your pain is alive
it has a pulse
and it needs to be acknowledged
as a living being.
ask what it needs
thank it for being the messenger
you don’t want but know
deep down you need.
nurture it with questions
and with silence
with not demanding answers
and with patience
and someday it will whisper
the words it has waited
all this time to say.
it is okay if other people become who I wanted to be.
it is okay if they master my half-developed talents
or realize my half-begun dreams.
it is okay if they live the life I wanted to live.
I will visit them daily
at the altar of forgiveness.
it is okay if others outshine me.
it is okay if words spoken in bitterness become true
so long as I come to love the truth.
maybe I won’t try to be who I am anymore
because I don’t know who I am.
perhaps I will not mind if others misunderstand
because I do not understand either.
maybe losing is letting go
and letting go is becoming.
maybe there’s a difference between emotions that arise from thinking
and emotions that arise from the body.
in other words, the primary source is the body, not the mind.
they never passed through the mind before reaching you.
these emotions tell the truth, for the body does not lie.
allow yourself to feel them fully.
these are the moments that bring catharsis.
the message will arise if you can be still.
the truth is neither good nor bad.
we do not have a word for it,
and that is for the best,
for we must learn to move beyond words
to define things.
allow yourself to feel
name the emotion, but be mindful of the thoughts
are they adding to a story?
or are they bringing you closer
to the truth?
I’d like to express my gratitude to Eckhart Tolle, whose recent YouTube video inspired this post. His teachings have been life changing for me. I encourage you to check them out.
Pain to power
Doesn’t mean replacing
It doesn't mean
Getting rid of
It means being alive in it
Breathing through it
Listening to it
So you may also
Allow the light to come through
That’s what heals you
That’s what makes you powerful.
Thanks to my friend Dr. Andrea Dinardo for the phrase "pain to power."
I highly recommend you check out her blog, Thriving Under Pressure.
Sometimes peace hurts.
Sometimes peace means feeling all the painful things all over again.
Except with peace, your spirit doesn’t hurt.
Because your heart is open.
You have let go.
What will happen? It’s never certain.
This you have accepted.
Whatever may come, you will be there.
You have committed to steadiness within yourself no matter what happens.
No matter how much it hurts.
No matter how much you miss what you’ve lost.
No matter how many pieces your heart has broken into.
This is why we can’t predict who will find peace.
Because peace does not depend on circumstance.
It does not require complex theories or figuring out.
Peace is proceeding.
One breath at a time.
Because you exist, and for no other reason.
Remember, above all, that peace is your friend.
You need not be lonely anymore.
moves in like a cloud
obscuring the sun.
it does not make the sun wrong
or mean it’s not there.
for clouds come and go
but the sun is yours
your whole life long.
where is the grief
inside you living?
what waits within
like song inside a bird
what seizes your heart
in spasms of fear and glory
to be heard?
tell me, tell anyone, tell someone
even if only
in the faintest of whispers
until you touch the place inside
where grief melts into music.
your art is the roots.
let it lie dark
and rich like the mud.
is your navigator.
show others the way through their breath
make them like trees
make them bright as stars.
let go of “purpose.”
do it because it moves you.
someday is not your concern
for your time is now.
your shallows shall swell
with the tide.
what you have so heavily resisted
shall become your bread and butter
and the heaviest burdens upon your back
shall become your ballasts.
it is the only way
if you are to light the way forward.
no matter how deeply
you have been wounded
one day a seed
will come along
take root exactly
where it hurts the most
in darkness until
you open up
and allow enough light
to reach it;
once you do that
nothing will stop
of dark matter
into something altogether