Love is a safe harbor

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Love is a safe harbor,
a refuge for the grieving,
a shelter for the windworn,
a steadfast tree in a storm.

Too often we think that love should be a whirlwind
of desires long unfulfilled, a reflecting pool
of our deepest, most secret wishes.

Love for me is more a steady beating,
a slow but sure walk home,
a light leading me through fog and dark.

Do not get lost in dreams of not enough.
Listen instead for the familiar greeting
of another weary traveler returning home.

~

I wrote this poem thinking about the most steadfast loves in my life. None of them resemble the dreams my mind shows me of great drama and romance. The greatest loves in my life are truly “safe harbors.” And for this I am grateful. I now challenge myself to be a safe harbor for my own self, as well! For someone reminded me recently that before we can truly love others, we must love and honor ourselves.

What does love resemble in your life?

Peace be with you,

Jenna

 

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Song for the world weary

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When your bones are heavy
Willing to sink to the earth,
Walk now to a quiet place
With plodding footsteps; go slowly
Into the place where the world will not overcome you.

Sometimes my place is the woods, where
The voices belong to birds
And the trees listen with infinite understanding.
Sometimes my place is a keyboard by the window
And my fingers weave a spiderweb of words.
Sometimes my place is the couch because my heart
Is simply heavy as a stone and refuses to budge.

All of these things will pass.
Your thoughts and feelings—your
Aches and pains, your heartache.
All of it will dissolve someday,
Replaced only by light.
Your decision lies in the dissolving.
Will you hang on bitterly
To the sinking stones, or will you swim—
Even if you must kick and gasp—
To the surface, to the light,
And let that which does not serve you fall?
It is always our choice, yours and mine.
Our power lies always in this choice.

~

Thank you for reading and peace be with you, 🌟 -Jenna

 

Why I Deleted My Blog…And Started Again

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Three (maybe four?) years ago, I had the urge to start blogging. One of those nagging longings that stuck around in the back of my mind so long, I knew I had to take action. I found the perfect name scrawled in purple graffiti on a harbor pier and located its origin in the poet Rilke: Face to Face with the Sky.
I started a Tumbler. And it went nowhere.
Maybe a year after that, I knew I had to try again. I discovered Word Press, and launched Face to Face with the Sky again.
That went also went nowhere. My content sucked. It lacked focus; it lacked depth; I wasn’t sharing what was real and on my heart.
Another year went by, and my mental health, which I have struggled with all my life, was deteriorating. Writing become my refuge. Scribbling and typing my solace. Somehow I decided to share this writing with the world.
I started another blog, The Wishing Well, and wrote honestly about my mental health ups and downs. In one year I had over 500 followers and lots of activity on the blog. The content was good. It was real. I was sharing what was on my heart.
So what do you think I did?
I deleted the whole thing.
I abandoned my followers. I didn’t even have the heart to respond to the most recent comments, so ashamed was I for running away.
What shifted? In short, there was a war between my public and private life. My inner and outer worlds. My inner world was complex, heartbreaking, and beautiful; and yet, I was only sharing it with people online. Only a few people in my real life knew about my writing. The rest of the time, I was presenting a “presentable” self. To my boss. My coworkers. My landlord. Even some of my friends and family. The tension between these two selves reached a breaking point.
Steven Pressfield wrote in his wonderful book Turning Pro about migrant workers who “rode the rods,” or stole away on trains across America. The migrant workers have a saying about what it means to abandon one job, one place, and move on to another. It’s called “pulling the pin.” The metaphor is that two train cars are attached by a single “pin” holding together their joined parts. Pull it out, and the car would roll away, no longer attached to the train.
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve “pulled the pin,” or completely bailed out of things in my life.

When it comes to writing, I don’t want to do that any more.
All of this has been a long winded explanation of what I’m trying to accomplish with this renewed attempt at blogging: healing the war between these two selves.
Let this blog be the place where I can merge my inner and outer worlds.

Peace be with you,

Jenna

P.S. You can expect two focuses on this blog: mental health, and spirituality.
P.P.S. I love Instagram! @face2facewiththesky
P.P.P.S. I am excited to join you and witness your heart’s journey.