Stages of (Inner) Change

Level 1: Not Listening

“You feel like you’re betraying yourself.”* This doesn’t feel right and you know it. Not following guidance, both inner and outer. Not pausing for stillness or reflection. Refusing to hear the truth.

Level 2: On Standby

This doesn’t feel right, but it doesn’t feel wrong either. State of confusion. Constantly asking yourself, “Am I missing something?” Honest reflection and prayer yield no guidance for change. Feeling stuck, yet knowing you’re doing your best. Waiting.

Level 3: Flow

In flow. “Yes!” In contact with soul. Joy. Sense of purpose and fulfillment. Certainty. Labors of love. Synchronicity. Truth that has followed you your whole life long.

*quote credit to Carolyn Myss

to the artist of spirit

your art is the roots.

let it lie dark
and rich like the mud.

your breath
is your navigator.

show others the way through their breath
their limbs
their movements
make them like trees
make them bright as stars.

let go of “purpose.”
do it because it moves you.

someday is not your concern
for your time is now.

in time
your shallows shall swell
with the tide.

what you have so heavily resisted
shall become your bread and butter

and the heaviest burdens upon your back
shall become your ballasts.

go.
move.
it is the only way
if you are to light the way forward.

rooting

child
no matter how deeply
you have been wounded
remember:

one day a seed
will come along

take root exactly
where it hurts the most

slumber
in darkness until
you open up

and allow enough light
to reach it;

once you do that
nothing will stop
its furious
motion

its transformation
of dark matter
into something altogether
unexpected.

imaginings

All of the things people have ever imagined. Dreamed. Rehearsed. Envisioned. Without actually doing them. All the books half written, or unwritten. Songs unsung. Dances never danced. Where do they go?

Is there a home for them somewhere?

That’s what God is to me. A home for our imaginings.

what if

what if

pain isn’t always wrong

tired isn’t always bad

boredom isn’t wasted time

what if

life isn’t about

feeling good

but about

finding meaning

what if

you create meaning

simply by

accepting discomfort

what if

no longer expecting

to feel good

is strangely liberating

what if

you can just rest

knowing that

who you are

where you are

exactly how you are

is just right.

 

what comes alive for you

What comes to life
at your touch

What meets your eyes
and looks back?

In what do you breathe
the breath of life

In whom do you place
your faith?

Who looks at you
and sees a hero

Which winds kiss
your face?

What seals your hands
together in prayer

What forces buckle
your knees?

When and where
do you bow your head

Where do you rest
when you’re weary?

Whose ears can you trust
to listen

Whose words do you take
for truth?

Whose smiles are
the sun to you

Whose voice
a lifelong echo?

A hint: instead of answers
seek wonder.

love note to an empath

your ability to feel
that is your super power.

feel so deeply
that it breaks you
yet against all odds
you withstand the pressure
& inexplicably
remain whole.

maybe it’s your job to be broken
so you can teach others
how to be broken
& still shine anyway.

will

i prayed
& asked ‘what am i to do’–

She gave me a stone
in my chest firm
& undeniable.

She said

I give you your Will.
your Will is yours
& yours alone--
in Me
you know where to go
for I have taught you
to read maps
I have taught you
navigation.
isn't this why
you are called here, after all?
for no matter where you go
you have your own Will to return to.
it will not waver
in storm or sea
it will not tumble 
to the four winds
it will not be shaken
by the cares of the world.
listen to your truth.
don't you know
the music of its voice by now?
hasn't the world shown you hunger?

haven't you scavenged for morsels
the forests deep and dark--
haven't you slaked your thirst
in the cold waters within?

choice

I no longer tolerate poison inside myself.

I no longer tolerate hatred

anxiety

shame

self pity.

This doesn’t mean they won’t overwhelm or attack me.

It means in the middle of the storm, I will hold fast to the Eye that says:

you can do better.

I no longer have patience

for soul-poison.

I am human; it may fool me for a moment.

But it will not claim me.

I will be tested. Again & again.

I don’t know how I will make it.

That’s okay. I’ll start there.

I’ll start with “I don’t know”

& give the rest up to Spirit

so that when something comes along that is not of my Divine nature,

I will recognize it.

People may not understand.

That’s the hardest part.

Keeping my Spirit under lock & key

helps me feel safe around others.

I seek to release the fear

of what they will think–

of my refusal

to settle for less

than the glory we were made for.

Now, instead of approval

I will seek soul-fire.